Dad a.k.a. "The Hit Man"
The Reality of Two Kids

Our Anniversary

Roses_2Today is my eighth anniversary and I almost forgot. I know many women prepare for this day for a month. They will have arranged a sitter, made dinner reservations or maybe the theater, maybe they've even planned a whole weekend getaway. It literally dawned on me three days ago that my anniversary was today. I hadn't given it a thought. I told my husband this and he looked at me with wide eyes and said, "Happy Anniversary, honey." He didn't remember either.

Just about everyone I mention this momentous occasion to will ask what we have planned, what gift did I receive? I plan on making steamers for dinner, maybe even getting a bottle of wine. I bought my husband a card that's still sitting unsigned on a shelf at home. It would be nice if he remembered to get me a card. But honestly, I don't really care much. We went to see John Mayer a little over a week ago, we're going to a "Prom" in a couple of weeks - let's just say that's what we did for our anniversary and call it quits. So many women put all this pressure on their husbands and themselves on this date, and I just don't get it. It's going to be the night you have to cancel because one of the kids is sick or someone had to work late, or you went out anyway even though you were tired and didn't feel like it and the whole event leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Or even worse yet, someone dies. We were sorting through my grandmother's belongings on our anniversary last year. We had to take her off life support. It was awful. And in the midst of this horrible time Blackstone said, "I have something important to ask you. Did you get me an anniversary card?"

"No," I tell him.

"Oh, good. I haven't gotten you one either," he says relieved.

All this pressure for one day. I really don't see why it's so much more important than the rest. And we do this for birthdays, holidays, dare I even bring up Valentine's Day. I HATE going out for Valentine's Day. Every one in the world decides to go out for dinner and you have to fight the crowds, wait for your food, they run out of the special and if you haven't made reservations it could take hours for a table. Why bother? I'll go out next week when everyone's at home.

Not that I don't like a surprise once in a while. Blackstone sent me roses at work on Mother's Day which was nice. He hadn't given me roses since before we were married. And one year for my birthday he bought me this terribly over-priced velvet winter hat that I had fallen in love with but hadn't bought because it was too expensive. But usually I just tell him what I want. I make it nice and simple. Half the time I'll even buy it myself and just say, "See what you bought me for _______ ." He loves it. He'll ask, "So did I buy your ________  present yet?" And I get just what I want and never get disappointed or feel bad about returning something he picked out. I also don't have any terrible guilt or pressure to search for the perfect gift for him. If I'm going to make it easy on him, he gets to make it easy on me.

This year we're getting each other a new kitchen and I couldn't be more thrilled.

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Comments

Liz

Congrats! 8 years, wow.

Diosa

We've been together for 14 years. A few more and we'll already have spent more than half our lives together. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Polly Poppins

So very INTJ of you. Over here we celebrate Valentine's Day with heart-shaped pancakes for breakfast--Mr. Poppins cooks. And we never give cards. But we do go out to dinner for our anniversary, just not necessarily on the day or week but we try because we really need an excuse for a dressy date once a year.

Bookgirl

I send cards for EVERYTHING. New jobs, new babies, new houses. So while I understand that not everyone else feels that way, I put so much time and energy into it that when someone else takes the time to send me a card, it absolutely makes my day.

Diosa

And I love getting your cards Bookgirl. But I'd be just as happy getting the card, the gift, the dinner on ANY day. It doesn't so much matter if it's before of after or on that day. I'd be bummed if everyone forgot my birthday. I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't. But if I think you're going to forget I'll remind you, not keep my mouth shut and wait with anger and dissapointment brewing. I don't understand why women do that.

I also make an effort to remember to send birthday cards, especially to those friends I don't get to see as often as I'd like.

Diosa

Not that Bookgirl would ever forget a birthday.

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