The Left Side of the Moon: What Ails Me

I have this theory about physical ailments. They don't so much as go away, as transform into something else.

The first really awful physical ailment I was plagued with was urinary tract infections. If I haven't hit triple digits with the damn things, it's got to be damn close. They started when I was seventeen and became sexually active. It's a bit uncomfortable living at home, being on your parents' insurance, and having to get treated for them ALL THE TIME. My dad said to me one day, "You have another one of those damn things. I have two words for you - Oral Sex." If I could have died right there on the spot, it really might have seemed like a viable option.

They were a constant problem until I was twenty-three and pregnant. I developed an allergy to sulfa drugs from being on them too much. I can do a clean catch in my sleep. I know all about wiping front to back and peeing before and after sex. Cranberry juice is useless. You're much better off with cranberry supplements and drinking gallons of water, save yourself the calories. I still take cranberry supplements by the handful when I've been more active than usual. I knew immediately when they put Uristat over-the-counter."'What is Uristat?", you may be asking. It's a medication that numbs your bladder and takes away what can be the searing, unbearable pain of a UTI. It also turns your waste all shades of psychedelic. Though, be warned, your lab test will have to be sent out if you take Uristat before doing your clean catch. It taints the results. You can use Advil in a pinch. It may help you feel like you're not going to die, but it's no where near as good as Uristat.

Women have many varied reactions to UTI's. Some can have one and not even be aware of it. They experience none of the pain, burning, and downright misery. "Lucky, bitches," you may be thinking. But really, not so much. If left untreated, a UTI will likely develop into a kidney infection, and that will definitely be painful and is much more serious. I am not one of those women. Within hours, I would be curled in the fetal position crying. And that's with three advil and drinking water and swallowing cranberry supplements until my insides swooshed and one more sip was bound to have me heaving. All this would have to be borne until Monday morning, because UTI's are not deemed a medical emergency and your insurance will not cover it. Yes, I speak from experience here.

After years of dealing with this chronically, and I mean practically every month, I went to a urologist. He did an ultrasound of my bladder and kidneys and found nothing wrong. Some women, particularly short women, are just prone. I was put on long-term, low-dose antibiotics. It worked. I stayed on them for two years. I went off when I found out I was pregnant. I was told I could stay on them if I wanted to, but I opted not to. I had, of course, been told, that for many women, having a baby is the cure for chronic UTI's. No one's exactly sure why that is, but something about the physical and/or hormonal changes your body goes through can cure you of them. This, was blessedly true in my case. I've only had about two since getting pregnant with Trouble. Honestly, had I known, 100% for sure, that that would be the case, Trouble might have been born years early. Going through nine months of morning sickness, back problems, headaches, hemorrhoids, exhaustion, the trauma of delivery - it was so worth it just to rid myself of those damn infections.

But. You knew that was coming, right? B U T . . . in the past year or so, I seem to have developed a new chronic infection - sinus infections. I'm on about my fifth in a year's time. I've always had problems with allergies - sneezing, stuffy, runny nose, itchy eyes. Now I have much less of that, but congestion with a terrible post-nasal drip that keeps developing into an infection. And for anyone who hasn't experienced the joy that is a sinus infection, it doesn't just mean your nose hurts. Your head, your cheeks, your nose, your entire body hurts. It can feel much like the flu, complete with body aches, sore throat, fever and chills. This is in spite of the Flonase, Claritin, Saline Spray, Vitamin C and Echinacea. I'm now on my fifth Z-pack in about a year. This doesn't bode well. Another year or two and you'll be able to add that allergy to penicillin and sulfa drugs. So I've been googling for other alternatives. And now, wait for it . . . I've started drinking water mixed with Apple Cider Vinegar. It certainly does seem to clear the sinuses a bit, I have to say. And it's probably safer than my first home remedy trial which was to spray vodka up my nose. You'd think that would kill the bacteria, wouldn't you? I'm really not sure which was more unpleasant. Seriously, I'm starting to feel desperate over here. I'm also considering various methods of irrigation, ever heard of a neti pot? And, yes, I'm working on a referral to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist. Though, if all they have to offer is surgery, forget it. I'd rather try pushing a baby out my nose.

Comments

People who use Nettie pots love them...do you see a chiropractor or ever had cranio-sacral therapy done? Those are a couple of nice holistic therapies for you to try

Posted by: Lissfull | October 16, 2008 at 08:59 AM

Hang in there. Mr. Poppins swears by apple-cider vinegar. And I, too, think Nettie pots would be worth a go. My beloved Dr. Oz swears by them.

Posted by: Polly Poppins | October 16, 2008 at 12:09 PM